A War Over Dirt.

Warning: A brief detour from reality: This article contains, imagination, analogies, dry humour and zero citations because sometimes reality needs a festive break.

Lubricantia, a never ending lithogenic planet sap which is vital and indispensable to the Lordin Empire and its tertiary machinery. Lubricantia serves as the primary lubrication and processed energy source powering over 70% of terrestrial transportation. Lubricantia and Gasoleen together are space fuel for galaxy lifeboats, starship cutters, and LordinIt Stooka flux attack fighters of The Red Baron Wing. Planet Dirt ranks as the third-largest supplier of Lubricantia to the vast Lordin Empire, which spans across a million suns.

Planet Dirts relatively small population of 300 Million consists of mainly 85% Newman’s, 13% DinDunit’s and 2% declared Ziodin’s (could be more due to name changing and shapeshifting).

All three populations have no concrete idea how they came to exist on Planet Dirt. The Newman’s believe they are relatives of star traveller’s of a distant unknown carbon life planet called Earth, where they were only 8% of the population, It had the same bio-Atmosphere as planet Dirt, however, the details of the truth are lost in the mists of space time.

1. NEWMAN: Belief System- Benign monolithic sky traveller.

2. ZIODIN: Belief System- Amoral, supremacy cult, malevolent, trans-variant deity.

3. DINDUNIT: Belief System- Frequently changes with benefits received.

The Ziodin’s possess an extraordinary ability with mimicry to blend in with pale skinned Newman’s. Rumour has it that the Ziodin’s originated from the same distant world the Newmans populated called planet Earth. On that world, the Ziodin’s lived as a nearly invisible but mischievous minority, making up barely 0.2% of the global population.

Their Toramud belief system states their exodus from planet Earth was no accident, nor a desperate stowaway escape. Instead, they departed hidden in plain sight, seventy Ziodin’s disguised as pale skinned Newman’s, silently securing passage aboard a long-range exploration starship bound for the outer expanse of the cosmos.

The Ziodin’s believe Planet Dirt has always been theirs by divine right, their ancient myths proclaiming it was promised to them 3,000 Epocks ago; they view the Newman’s as settlers who have stolen their Dirt. Conflicts between the two have flared in the past, yet under the Lordin Empire’s rule offering extraordinarily favourable terms to all, peaceful coexistence has prevailed for thousands of epocks. The Ziodin’s exists as planet Dirt’s accountants (as been their craft).
The Lordin Empire has authorised through the central Imperial Right-bank of the 104th Right, which by trust granted the Ziodin’s the authorisation to create the Sheklar, a currency for Planet Dirt, backed by the value of Lubricantia sap reserves.

THE RULERS OF PLANET DIRT:

LORDIN’S OF THE 104TH RIGHT.

The fragile coexistence on planet Dirt was shattered when the Lordin Empire uncovered the systematic bleeding off of Lubricantia sap over several epochs, funneled through an illicit black market to outer rogue frontier planets of the empire. Automated quanta-string ledgers, those “unbreakable” threads of imperial accounting had been cunningly tampered with, masking a staggering scale of pilfered wealth.
The discovery of the theft by the feared Lordin ES-ES investigators was first uncovered on a distant frontier world known as the Contrabandia frontier, one of several rogue planets deliberately permitted to exist on the edge of the empire. These planets functioned as covert surveillance hubs, ES-ES spies are embedded among criminal networks to monitor illicit trade and detect the earliest sparks of rebellion.

Petty smuggling had long been a tradition but Lubricantia and some other vital resources were “off limits” with the severest consequences if caught. This Lubricantia operation was unusually complicated. The process was engineered with a minimum of ten layers of operational intermediaries, ensuring the original thieves remained hidden behind a maze of separation. The contraband was transported through a chain of storage planets, each one altering its cargo manifest and molecular signature to further disguise its origin. The thieves accomplices diluted Planet Dirt’s Lubricantia by blending it with off-world Lubricantia variants. This molecular mixing ensured that inspection ion-cutter arrays failed to detect the distinctive spectral trace and original molecular signature associated with planet Dirts lubricantia. Only a minute irregularity in one of the final spectral scans hinted at what had been stolen, and with further investigation by the much feared ES-ES RIGHT investigators revealed how far the theft and conspiracy reached.

WHO ARE THE THIEVES?

TO BE CONTINUED….